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Voicemail/IC Contact
Mar. 17th, 2020 07:55 pm"Hello - you have reached the personal voicemail inbox of INSERT NAME HERE; they're not available right now, but please leave your name, number and a brief message, and they'll get back to you as soon as they can.
In the event of an emergency, hang up and dial whatever authorities may be available to help you with your crisis. In the event that there are no authorities, may whatever God you believe in help you because there's a good chance that INSERT NAME HERE can't help you either. If the world has fallen under martial law, become a police state and/or has otherwise become a dystopia, please be aware that Big Brother may be watching you for quality assurance purposes.
Thank you for your interest in contacting INSERT NAME HERE; have a nice day, and remember, 'science' rhymes with 'compliance'!"
[Please state in the subject line if OOC planning is preferred and we can handwave like the wind, but otherwise IC will be assumed!]
