neurotoxined | 003. [Locked Video/Rocket Frequency]

Entry tags:

003. [Locked Video/Rocket Frequency]

[VIDEO / PRIVATE - TEAM ROCKET FREQUENCY]

[The video today is coming to you from inside one of the dorm rooms; it seems that GLaDOS has decided to take her work outside of the lab for the moment, primarily because it occurred to her at one point that she would, in fact, need to sleep and minimizing the time between wandering back to the lab and passing out sounded like a great idea. But that's beside the point.

The angle you're getting is from somewhere off to the side; it's primarily her hand for a moment before she pulls away after having turned the 'Gear on. She's currently sitting at what appears to be a really makeshift light/drafting table that she's MacGyvered together from a bunch of books, a table lamp and some plexiglass, the soft glow from beneath it illuminating her very pale features and glinting off those thinly-rimmed glasses of hers. She's not looking at the camera; she keeps her gaze focused downward while she works.]

Since we're all going to be stuck here for what looks like a ridiculous amount of time, I might as well get a few questions out of the way.

You people like destroying things, right? Of course you do. And destroying things from a distance is even better, isn't it? Otherwise we wouldn't have...oh. I don't know. Flamethrowers. And rockets. And other things that are designed to launch things that have been designed to be launched at you.

[No, she does not seem to care that she is paging the Department of Redundancy Department here; she just goes back to whatever it is she's drawing for a moment before continuing on.]

Of course, since it would be asking entirely too much for this place to be stocked with anything that would be at all helpful, I can't guarantee anything. But that doesn't mean it's all useless.

[She picks up the 'Gear then, bringing it over to that table and angling it awkwardly downward to show what she's been working on. It seems she certainly has been working on ways to get things from one place to another; what she's been drawing is pretty much something that crawled right the hell out of PokéSpe, and can best be described in three words - "portable Voltorb launcher."

She lets the camera hover over this...Voltorbazooka for a moment before setting it back on the table and getting it back to work.]

No idea if it'll work, and it seems like something else this place will put a stop to before it does anything good - but you would be really surprised at what you can manage with a bit of physics and what's probably going to end up being way too much spring-loading to comply with any sort of safety regulations.

If this place wants me to do science, I'm not going to argue with it. After all, as a great man once said - when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade.

Make life rue the day that it thought it could give you lemons.

[Well, that last bit is delivered in as cheerful a manner as possible, and the few seconds she spends finishing up whatever lines she's tracing out before she reaches out and clicks the feed off again are filled with some rather cheerful humming.

Nice to see the level of sanity in the science division hasn't improved any...]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You!

[Have a video of a tiny, white-haired man jabbing a finger at the 'Gear. You know, like a totally normal, sane person would.]

So you're finally back! It's about time! We have quite a few things to discuss, you know!

[That voice should sound ridiculously familiar. Hi, GLaDOS. It's good to see you again.]

[What...oh.

Oh.

Well, Wheatley, you actually have her full attention when that feed clicks back on; she's abandoned the drawing for now, setting the 'Gear in front of her, and she's actually smiling when she addresses you!

...okay, so it's not exactly a pleasant expression. In fact, it's actually a lot closer to "baring teeth" than smiling. But it's close enough. Right?]

Oh. It's you.

I really should be mad at you for being here, you know. Apparently I can't get away from your idiotic blathering even when I'm dragged to another world. But at this point? At least you're not still back in the labs, where I can't do anything about it while I'm here.

[[Kato watches the entire broadcast before making any move to contact the woman in the video; oh, she's very familiar. If he didn't know better, he'd say she was in Team Rocket before.

All this talk of destruction is what gets him interested; the pure ridiculousness of what she's proposing shouldn't be appealing, but then again, Kato has never been one to turn down something obviously destructive, even if it is stupid.

Leaning forward, he taps into the feed.]]

And what exactly do you intend to use your invention for, hm?

[She doesn't seem too displeased to see this...complete goddamn weirdo (because seriously lbr) that's come up on the feed; I mean, the smile is perhaps a bit unsettling, but at least that's because she doesn't seem to understand the difference between seeming pleasant and baring teeth and not due to any sort of latent desire to stab you in the face with a scalpel.

Yet, anyway.]

Really? I don't care.

I work in research and development. Where I'm from, that means that I create things, someone tests the things, deciding how they end up used isn't my department. If you want one, you can do whatever you want with it. Weaponize it. Improve on it. Create a new form of interior design with it. Whatever you want.

[...have we mentioned today that the handheld portal device was originally designed while we were attempting to make shower curtains]

[[now now miss pot

let's not start calling the kettle black, shall we]]

How very sterile of you. You don't find any joy in seeing your creations come to life?

[[....in a mass of fire and pain and suffering and beauty GOD HE JUST LOVES BLOWING THINGS UP WHERE IS KIMBLEE TIME FOR SOME FEELS]]

I never said that.

[That smile may just be edging a bit closer to genuine for your effort, Kato.]

Some uses are more satisfying than others. And I tend to be commissioned by people who will put these things to, well, very good use. If. You get. My drift.

[Oh look, Caroline has made an appearance on the network! What is she going to discuss...

...

Caroline pls.

Really, Dimitri has no idea how to react to this. Yes, he was under the assumption that she's a scientist. But he wasn't expecting her first project to be such an...um...audacious weapon. In fact, he wasn't expecting her to be into explosives at all.

Now he's the one who doesn't know what to do with her.

His conflicting thoughts on this show on his face while he doesn't realize he's been staring into the 'Gear for a good minute before responding.]

You work quickly.

[Yep. That is all he can say about this.]

Oh, it's you.

[That doesn't sound nearly as condescending as it could, however, despite her words; she doesn't exactly seem overly happy to see him, but then she's never really overly happy to see anyone, so...neutral is actually good. Neutral is very good!

...that said, hi there.]

Efficiency is one of those things I'm known for. You could say it's a talent.

You could also say I bore really easily. That'd be true, too.

A very useful talent, certainly.

[He seriously hopes any proper scientist would have that talent.]

Are you saying that this world has bored you already? There has been much to research and learn about its differences and the creatures within it.

[There's a slight pause. Well she does have a Voltorb launcher...]

Though you have gotten creative with that bit of knowledge already. I suppose that also says something about this organization if they have the proper materials to make such a thing lying around...

Oh, it would say plenty about this place. I'm going to find out whether they can make the thing work as soon as possible.

[She's. Kind of smiling a bit? Granted, it's an unsettling expression because what the hell are human affect displays - honey, there's a difference between smiling and baring teeth, please learn it - but at least it's an attempt.]

Getting creative with this sort of thing is what I do. Of course, it's usually with mechanical things. I don't usually utilize things that are biologically alive outside of test subjects, but it's what I have to work with here.

[What...is she doing. Um. He tries not to look really unsure about that "smile".]

Yes, I imagine that is quite a change. [And something he certainly can't argue against. He'll probably end up using the Pokemon at some point himself.] I trust your range of inventions is wider than just weapons?

[Okay, Cobra's familiar enough with the concept of a bazooka. After all, there's an entire division of Cobra that's supposed to shoot bazookas at G.I. Joe. And he's not as familiar with Voltorbs but knows what they are. But a bazooka that fires Voltorbs?]

You don't know if it'll work? You mean you haven't tested it yet?

[Because seriously, he's only a couple of seconds away from throwing money at her to make twenty of them. And he doesn't even need half that many.]

[Well! That's going to get a bit of an interested look over the feed, though she's arching one of her eyebrows quite a bit there; do you not know how these things work, my good man - ]

It's still in the design stages right now. So no, it hasn't. There's nothing to test at this point.

Are you volunteering? It's been a while since I've had volunteers.

Oh, I'm afraid that I probably won't be able to volunteer for testing ssssuch an amazing device.

[For starters, he's in Vermilion, not Goldenrod. And a much more important reason is that he'd rather not have a Voltorbazooka blow up in his face. He wants to use it to blow up other people's faces.]

But I'm sure that you'll have no shortage of candidates willing to help perfect ssssuch a marvelous invention.

[And then once it's finished, he'll proceed to throw money at it.]

[Fair enough. But really, seeing whose face it blows up in during the testing stage is a greatly satisfying endeavor!

From a strictly scientific standpoint, of course.]

If I can't find any, I'm sure this place will provide. There's not much point in a science division with no subjects, after all. Or is that not how you do things here?

Oh, I'm sssure it will provide. As far as I know, test subjects are ssstill utilized by the department.

[Or they were back when that weird powers thing went down. He doesn't know what it's like now. His specialty might be experimental weaponry, but it's more using it than inventing it, so he doesn't really hang around the labs much.]

Edited 2012-12-03 06:58 (UTC)

Excellent.

[And then there is a moment of awkward. She's not exactly used to having conversations - at least, not with non-AI individuals that actually talk back.]

And you are...? I'd like to know who I'm getting in contact with.

You may address me as Cobra Commander.

[Which is a ridiculous way to introduce himself, but he's never going to hand out his real name to anyone.]

[She just makes a soft, noncommittal noise at that, though the fact that one of her eyebrows has darted up so high it's nearly burying itself in her hairline has to be saying something about her thoughts on it, good god.]

Well, Cobra Commander. You can call me Caroline. It's a pleasure.

Likewise, Doctor Caroline. It is always a pleasure to meet ssssomeone with ssssuch creativity!

[In case it wasn't obvious yet, he really wants a Voltorbazooka.]

[...well, keep that up and you'll be first in line.]

Oh, believe me, I do what I can. And it looks like there's lots of science to do here.

Not only is there plenty to do, but there's plenty of people willing to put the products of ssssuch brilliant science to good use!

[Especially if it brings some sort of misfortune to others.]

[Cue one manically laughing villain with very big, pointy teeth.]

Gwa ha ha ha! I'll take fifty of 'em yesterday, lady!

[Well, look at you. You'll be getting a smile in response, though in her case it's more "baring teeth in a manner that she hopes resembles a halfway human expression" as opposed to anything, and the result is that this feed currently has more teeth than the Osmond family going on but that's okay.]

If you're that excited, you'll be one of the first to know once these things are out of beta.

Give me time. And you'll have your launchers.

Bwa ha ha ha! Perfect! I need some real firepower, and it's not like they sell explosives in stores.

[And he can't breathe fire or call upon his Bob-ombs here, so hey. Voltorb launchers are the best bet!]

It seems they don't sell a lot of useful things in stores here. Or at least, they don't sell non-useless things. There's a difference.

I take it you're used to having explosives just lying around.

[She doesn't sound off-put by that idea any. Explosives everywhere = yes good, after all.]

[Huh, well this seems a bit familiar, doesn't it? It's been quite some time since he's seen you. That said, Archer isn't going to bring that up; far too often people are brought back here without memories, and it's entirely possible that this is one of those cases. It's kind of hard to tell with you.]

That looks absolutely fascinating.

[If he could Do Science he would so be in those labs right now creating Voltorbazookas right along with you. But unfortunately, science is a bit beyond him. ...That's probably for the best, to be honest.]

How much do you want for it? I can offer you more funding for your research if you can produce weapons like that on a large scale.

[Outfitting Team Rocket Grunts with Voltorbazookas? BEST IDEA EVER!!!]

[Oh. Hello, and thank you for not bringing up the past just now, because that would make this even more awkward than it's certainly going to turn out to be.

However, for the time being she seems pleased; she still hasn't quite worked out how to shot human affect displays, so the result is that she's giving you what amounts to the creepiest smile in the history of anything ever, but at least she is making an attempt.]

It's a bit stupid to offer commissions for something you don't know will work, you know. Not what I'd recommend. But I'm sure you're not a stupid person, so that makes it a bit of a moot point, right?

Give me time; once it's out of beta and ready to be released, I'll let you know what we're looking at in terms of funding. And then you can have all the guns you want. Promise.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

003. [Locked Video/Rocket Frequency]

[VIDEO]

[VIDEO]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

[Video]

video

video

video

video

[VIDEO]

[VIDEO]