neurotoxined | 001. Audio/Action for the labs within TR HQ

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001. Audio/Action for the labs within TR HQ

[AUDIO]

[And somewhere in Johto, there's someone in an incredibly good mood today; somebody's audio channel has been left open, and the result is a rather strong, clear soprano voice singing...uh, something rather repetitive and kind of Italian over the feed. She seems to be singing as she works on something or other; since she doesn't have the benefit of a bunch of ridiculously cute turrets providing background music, the song is a capella, and as such there are a lot of rather audible mechanical...noises happening in the background.

Weird. Grating noises. At least they sound like they're a good distance away from her...but then there's the occasional really loud wham in the background. That seems to be decidedly nearer.

...oh dear.

Whatever she's doing, however, the sudden banging sounds seem to be pretty much par for the course as far as she's concerned; her voice isn't breaking any, with the exception of the occasional waver that comes with what's probably her turning her head away from the general direction of the Gear to check whatever the hell is making all the noise.

GLaDOS is having quite a good day; as little as she's liked being human, she's actually rather fond of the fact that her voice now comes with decidedly less autotune.]

[ACTION]

[For those within the Rocket base, the incessant sounds in that area are implying that GLaDOS is having a grand old time generally doing what Aperture Science employees do best: breaking things horribly. For now, she seems to have been dedicating her time to recreating an incredibly crude Aerial Faith Plate; she hasn't gotten very far, having had to make the entire thing by hand, but she's staked out one of the larger rooms for herself and is currently testing out what she's managed, singing to herself all the while.

Of course, "what she's managed to do" has been create a means to terrify her Raticate, the aptly-dubbed Test Subject #1; in between the rounds of Cara Mia Addio, those with access to the labs can likely find a ridiculously tall, very pale woman with thinly-rimmed glasses and long white hair, standing around and trying to convince said Raticate to get on the plate - before the thing quite simply launches too early, smashing the flat surface of the plate itself violently against the floor before righting itself. Kinda.

...

It's a work in progress, okay.]

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[Gorthan's voice is full of admiration and sincere emotion. The singing was so beautiful and moving, he just had to dry his eyes a bit, which makes the Audio option a very convenient one.]

Such a splendid voice. You are truly gifted, whoever you are. But, I must ask... what are those noises?

...oh.

[She ignores the compliment for now, simply because she isn't entirely sure how to respond to it - because no, really, who does that - instead deciding to focus on the question. GLaDOS picks the Gear up to respond to it, her voice suddenly coming from decidedly closer now; it isn't exactly unpleasant to listen to, though it's a bit oddly emphasized, stopping just short of being full-out obvious sarcasm, though it's fairly clear that she's being incredibly facetious.]

Those noises should be the sound of a properly working Aerial Faith Plate. Unfortunately, as it is, they quite simply are...

[WHAM.]

...not.

[Hey, this guy is from PKNA. Where he's from, sarcasm is one of the main components of air or something. Totally normal, at any rate.]

"Aerial Faith Plate"...?

You are an engineer, then... ?

[You'd love Aperture Science, then. As long as you can handle the deadly neurotoxin, anyway, which pretty much is one of the main components of air when GLaDOS is having a bad day.

But keep her happy and let her do her science and she'll stick to the sarcasm. Just for you.]

An engineer...

[She actually has to think about that one. It's not like she has a title, outside of her...name, technically - the scientists are the engineers, she's the core that runs the facility. But in the very basic sense of the term, as defined by the dictionary?]

Yes. Yes, I'm an engineer.

[The Rocket Base is normally boring. Archer rarely finds anyone worth talking to within the base itself, but today seems to be a bit different. That noise still hasn't stopped and he's getting irritated with it. What the hell is going on...?]

[The "noise" however, isn't GLaDOS' singing - Archer is surprised at just how good it is and hesitates in the doorway for a moment. This is the room where that noise is coming from, right?]

[It's probably a good thing he hesitates, however - he gets just enough time to watch the Aerial Faith Plate in action... or rather... the lack of action, really. Archer isn't entirely sure what to do with that other than smirk. And try not to laugh.]

Are you having fun?

[He doesn't recognize the woman, but it has been awhile since he's actually wandered around the Rocket Base. She's probably fairly new here.]

[Wheatley happens to spend a lot of his time outside. Johto is fascinating, as are these creatures they've been given, presumably to train. He doesn't bother training his very often. He does love Companion Bat though, and she's out of her Pokéball. Wheatley is carrying her, but that really shouldn't be surprising. He carries her around everywhere. He actually hasn't realized that she has a happiness evolution! ...What does this say about him...]

[But anyway, that's not the point! Today he's in the base, looking for the source of that singing. It's quite pretty; he's never really had an extreme interest in music, but he's bored and there really isn't much else for him to explore around Goldenrod.]

[...Not that he's incredibly eager to leave and travel on the routes...]

[So Wheatley's checking the rooms, trying to pinpoint the voice. His hearing is still... kind of terrible and he's not used to trying to pinpoint a location while relying on ears. It's rather horrible, really. But eventually he does find the source of the voice, and speaks to the white-haired woman who is presumably singing (unless it's the rat, which he highly doubts).]

That's a rather nice song. You have a lovely voice! I haven't heard you singing down here before. What are you doing--?

[Wait a minute. He recognizes that Aerial Faith Plate! He'd recognize one of those anywhere! Wheatley's relaxed expression quickly shifts to irritation - he's been duped, hasn't he?]

Oh. It's you. Never mind, ignore what I said; I was obviously mistaken.

[Well, that will get quite the smile out of her, Archer!

Quite the very, very sardonic smile. You know. The sort that indicates that she's not really pleased at all? It's closer to a mockery of a smile, really.

Okay, she's not smiling at all, it's closer to baring teeth in a way that's pretending to be friendly. Same thing at this point.]

I will be. Eventually.

[And now she is back to kind of linefacing at her rat, thank you, though she keeps talking to Archer.]

I assume you work here. Either that or there's a tour going on.

[It's not exactly a question, though she's clearly expecting an answer.]

[...Wheatley, she's less concerned about the fact that you didn't recognize her and more concerned that you do recognize an unbelievably crude Aerial Faith Plate that's malfunctioning that badly.

Just look at what that says about you.]

Oh. You again.

[She'll just be shooting you the most annoyed look on the planet before -

..................]

As for what I'm doing, some of us understand that there's still science to be done.

[Have a rather...alarmingly friendly sort of smile while she gestures to that Aerial Faith Plate.]

Go ahead and try it out. It's not calibrated to handle the size of a normal human test subject, but you're close enough to the rat. I think it should do just fine.

[You're... trying... GLaDOS...]

[...Or maybe you aren't. Same thing, really. Like hell if Archer knows how to actually smile half-way convincingly.]

If there was a tour going on, we'd all be arrested. Yes, I do work here.

[Archer walks further into the room, tipping his head slightly at the rat.]

What are you attempting to do here?

[Oh come on! It's not his fault he's tiny!]

And it's taken you this long to come up with something? I'm shocked. Really. Do tell me you've been wasting time rather than spending so long getting used to being human.

[Today he'll actually attempt not to give into a raging screaming fit! So you can have some... attempted insults!]

[...No really, how does he insult you anyway...]

[Test Subject #1 will just be headtilting at you, good sir, as well as staring at you really hard because OH GOOD GOD SHE HAS BEEN DEALING WITH THIS CRAZY WOMAN FOR WEEKS WITH NO HOPE OF SALVATION

CAN SHE JUST BEAM "SAVE ME" THOUGHTS INTO YOUR HEAD

...OH DAMMIT SHE'S NOT A PSYCHIC-TYPE UM

EITHER WAY, SAVE HER, MAN

...in the meantime, GLaDOS will just be ignoring the rat entirely for now.]

I'm working on a prototype for an Aerial Faith Plate; they're calibrated to launch objects or individuals at a given trajectory over great distances, without loss of velocity.

In layman's terms, you stand on them and they'll shoot you where you want to go. Assuming that you aren't overwhelming the Plate's load-bearing capacity or otherwise managing to break it.

[...not like that, that's for sure. Look, Wheatley, she's been human long enough to have mastered the art of the facepalm.]

And you've come up with...what, exactly?

[IF HE'D HAD ONE OF HIS PSYCHIC-THINGS OUT... Sorry, Test Subject #1.]

Really? Well, that's certainly an interesting an interesting name.

[But seriously, just imagine what you could do with that! You could launch things like Carlisle at people! He would crush them! It would be pretty hilarious, not gonna lie.]

Has Team Rocket ordered you to work on this or is this something you're doing on your own? Have you had any success?

It's a personal project, in the extremely early stages. But back in the Lab I never had this sort of problem creating these; this organization isn't exactly...on top of things.

[At the same time, she's just going to be giving you a Very Weird Look, if you don't mind. What exactly do you want, Chatty?]

[Uh... a grand total of... nothing... Really, what were you expecting?]

Well! I've been spending my time exploring this world; you know, figuring out how it works, how to get home, things like that.

[Of course, he's assuming you haven't figured out how to get home... Well, he hasn't seen you outside, so of course you haven't figured it out! ~~Wheatley, you aren't Archer. Stop using his logic.~~]

[...oh, that's interesting. brb, goading Wheatley for deets.]

I'm just going to guess that you're still in the "figuring out" stage. You'll probably be there for a while.

[.........]

You'll probably be there forever.

Well I'm doing better than you! I've been outside at least! Quite the lovely area, you should really see it!

[...Actually...]

There's no sense in wasting time in here! A break might even do you some good! Come on, come on, I certainly don't have all day! You'll never leave this lab otherwise!

[Yep, that's right, GLaDOS. We're going on an adventure! Now come on or he'll try to grab your wrist and drag you outside.]

No, they really aren't.

[What's that look for? You certainly don't say much, do you?]

Are you missing something specific here?

Wait.

[Wheatley...]

Wait, wait, what do you think you're doing -

[...it's a long story, but let's just say that she's not used to dealing with humans who talk back.

She's not good with this whole two-way conversation thing.]

Only a proper testing environment. Decent, functional materials. Oh, and some human test subjects who may or may not be willing.

You know. The little things. But I'll be fine.

What do you think I'm doing? Don't answer that, it's rhetorical. We're going outside! You need to see the surrounding area! And really, you just don't seem like the sort to go out on your own. You'll never get anything done here if you don't at least figure out what this area can offer. Would you stop hesitating?

[COME ON GLaDOS WE'RE GOING ON AN ADVENTURE!! You have no choice.]

[AKHDSJGSDFJSDGH I AM A ROBOT AND WHAT IS THIS]

I will not stop hesitating!

[Never mind that she isn't putting up too much resistance; honestly, she's a bit busy trying to keep her attention on not tripping into Wheatley as opposed to doing something that might actually stop what he's doing. Like pulling her wrist away or something.]

Stop it. Stop what you're doing right now, I am not going anywhere with the likes of you -

[...and as soon as that's out of her mouth, she switches gears immediately, her voice softening a great amount - it would be almost soothing if she weren't so irritated. And loud. Because what is vocal volume control.]

Not that there's anything wrong with the likes of you. I just don't think this is something that we should be doing. So let's just...go back to the lab and we can get some science done, and we can forget about all of those things I said about your height and your capabilities to learn anything, and we can just let things go. How does that sound?

[The sudden change in GLaDOS' voice does get Wheatley to stop for a moment. His expression is curiously blank while he tries to make sense of it.]

[And then suddenly he's giving the most devious smirk known to man and yanking on GLaDOS' wrist again.]

Nice try, but it's not going to work, love.

[The sarcasm is running thick today, but Wheatley's teasing more than anything else. The fact that GLaDOS did suddenly shift moods like that indicates that she'd really rather not go outside, right? So he might as well force her to do as he says! Power is so lovely, isn't it?]

Oh come on, it's not like you're in a potato or anything! You'll be perfectly fine, perfectly fine!

["Love"...? Why the hell must you be so British she can't with you -

oh WHAT]

You had to bring the potato into this. You just had to.

[Oh don't worry, you'll get used to it! Or Archer will just talk your ear off, same thing.]

Well, I certainly can't help with the first two. You can't use Pokémon? Well, obviously this one doesn't seem too willing.

[Okay, he actually might feel a little bad for you, Test Subject #1!]

Do you have any other Pokémon you could test on? Perhaps something else would be better suited for the tests.

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001. Audio/Action for the labs within TR HQ

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